Being a Transgender man who has yet to start HRT I unfortunately still have to use the women’s washroom when I am out and about in my everyday life. The only relief I get from this is when I’m at the studio and I can either use the men’s washroom or the unisex washroom, which is honestly so freeing. I’m not here today to chit chat about the small saving graces in my tragic bathroom life, I’m here to discuss why I hate women’s washrooms.
I’m going to be all snazzy and use a list format so I can organise my thoughts and shit.
Reason number 1: What the fuck are you doing in there?
I have ranted and raved about this to several of my female friends and none of them can provide a suitable explanation for as to why women take so god damn long in the stall. You’re just taking a piss, maybe changing your pad if your having that time of month when your anatomy hates you, why does it take so long to pee? Seriously. Just sit down, relieve yourself, do that thing with the toilet paper then make way for the next bursting bladder you toilet stealing nazi. I could go on and on about this very pressing issue but writing about this has fueled me up for my next complaint.
Reason number 2: How do you even pee?
Nothing confuses me more then when I walk into a stall in the women’s washroom and see pee on the toilet seat. How the fuck do you miss the bowl? Come on now! It’s not like you have to aim every single time like men do. You just need to sit down. How does that even happen?! Once again none of my lovely lady friends have been able to answer this one for me( I ask them seeing as I don’t see myself as a reliable resource for obvious reasons). Okay so let’s say you have crazy satan pee that just goes where ever the hell it pleases and there is nothing you can do about it, in that case at least wipe the seat when you’re done. We know public bathrooms aren’t the cleanest but that doesn’t mean you need to leave us a nasty ass reminder. Thanks you gigantic flaming asshole.
Reason number 3: Don’t flatter yourself.
I admit I look like a lesbian. I am a girly ass looking motherfucker at least till I get on the HRT bus to manly town. Having said that, the amount of looks I get from women in the bathroom honestly makes me fucking rage. They look at me like I’m some rapist that’s going to grope them just cause of how I look. “Be careful of the raging bull dyke honey! I’ve heard that they have fake dicks covered in spikes and bad feelings!”
Lady I’m not going to touch you or your pissant little brat for that matter. Just because I dress like a dude and act like a dude doesn’t make me a god damn pervert. I’m in the washroom to pee not make hetero normative women uncomfortable with my sheer presence. How about you spend less time staring at me and more time using the god damn bathroom because maybe if you did I wouldn’t have to wait so fucking long to take a piss!
Before you guys jump to conclusions and say that maybe it’s because I look rapey or something
……yep….look at me with my
wine blood stained lips! Fear me n’ shit like that.
I have to apologize for this entry being a day late, I’m not going to lie I was a complete twat and got absolutely sloppy ass drunk last night and forgot to upload this. While I was at the bar though I did have to use the bathroom and I observed that women are more efficient in the washroom when they’re drunk. Just an interesting note. Well I don’t know about you guys but I am feeling so much better now that I’ve gotten that off my chest. See you all Monday for my Monday movie reviews, till then stay Tobly awesome.