Friday Rant: Kids these days

Personal Posts

Oh hey, looks like it’s that time again.
Updates this week have been late due to an actual work schedule, I need the money to survive.
Today I wanted to rant about kids these days and how evil they are. For anyone who knows me in real life, you can stop reading right now because I am pretty sure you have all heard this before so this’ll be nothing new. For anyone else, grab an alcoholic beverage because you might need it.
I’m going be real fuckin blunt right now, I hate children. I have absolutely no patience for the little demons and I find them loud and obnoxious. Every now and then I do meet a child I actually like, but they are far and few between. To all those parents out there, I am sure young Billy is a delightful little hell spawn but if he’s between the ages of three and fourteen I’ll probably feel the urge to punt him.
I’m generally not a patient person so I am able to realise that my hatred probably stems from my own faults, my girlfriend babysits children on the side and I honestly don’t know how she does it. My own hatred towards kids could also be due to my own immaturity and selfish needs. I am a very self-centred person when it comes down to the things I want and my own happiness. I only got one life to live and I don’t see a point in living it for anyone but myself. It’s a terrible thing for me to say but it’s something I honestly believe. I have lived my life for the happiness of others up till a little over a year ago and I am finished with it. I know about the responsibility and time it takes to properly raise and care for a child and fact of the matter is I am not the right person for that kind of job. I am able to examine myself and come to the conclusion that it would be best if I was never given the ownership of a mini-me.
Children are like pets in my mind, just more expensive and the outcome if you fuck up in raising it is far more devastating. You mess up in raising a dog MAYBE it might maul some dude who gives it stink eye. You mess up on a human being though, oh the possibilities;

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I’m not sayin’, I’m just sayin’.
It’s a huge burden to carry and it’s something I could never do.
There is a little girl my mom babysits, let’s call her Janet. Janet has got to be the most terrible human to walk this Earth. She is unaware that I’m trans(I don’t want my life decisions to affect my moms job babysitting) and so everytime she see’s me she tells me I’m ugly and that my hair needs to be long because “girls with short hair are stupid”. I have a mixture of hate and sympathy for this kid because in a way it’s not her fault but after the tenth time being told that what she is saying is rude she should get it by now. Her parents should be there to tell her that’s not okay, if they aren’t prepared to do that then maybe they should’ve just put on a god damn condom. My cousin is actually Janet’s dad so I know he didn’t wear protection for this one night stand, dumb shit. I could launch into another rant about STD’s but maybe another time.
I guess when I really think about it, it’s not the kids I should be directing my hate towards seeing as a good majority of the time they are products of their environments and it’s up to the parents to make them into good people so that people like me might like the world more. How people raise their kids is really none of my business though…..but if you dump your satanic Doogie Howser at my comic store and walk away expecting me to watch them, think again. If you come back and Doogie is knee fucking deep in a cement block with duct over his mouth and hands it’s your own fault and you should be ashamed. Hows that for discipline Dr. Phil!
I don’t think I’ll ever be a kids kind of guy and, no matter how many people tell me I’ll change as I get older, I’m okay with that. I don’t need some thing distracting me from my work. If you’re like my girlfriend and you somehow posses the strength to deal with kids for prolonged amounts of time I must salute you for your bravery, especially if you’re not the one raising them.
For you parents out there, or parents to be, heed my warning now; if you even think about raising this child to be anything other then a decent human I will find you and feed you to a pack of rapid dance moms. Don’t spoil them, don’t teach them sexist bullshit, and don’t leave them in random mall stores and expect the minimum-wage part timer to watch them!
That’s all for now folks. Take care of yourselves and eachother, see you Monday for another Nic Cage movie review. Stay Tobly awesome!

2 thoughts on “Friday Rant: Kids these days

  1. See, that’s one thing I could never understand. How could someone, who was a kid, because we all were, hate kids? That’s like hating yourself, for being one, and at least disliking your parents, for having you; as well as hating everyone you know, because they were all kids too. I don’t get it.

    1. I just mostly lack the patience for kids. I look back and honestly have so much respect for my parents for successfully raising me to not be a crazy serial killer. I remember being a total brat as a kid. I don’t have the personality type to deal with that. If anyone else does more power to them. As for hating myself as a child I’d like to hope that I have grown as a person since then…at least I’m not spitting my food into peoples hands anymore so I think that makes me at least a little bit more likeable then I was before. Thank you for reading!

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