Director: Joel Schumacher
I should probably be upfront with you guys about something…. I have a huge crush on Nicole Kidman. I don’t completely understand my somewhat worrying obsession with the woman but it is there and it controls %90 of what I watch. So of course when I spotted a movie that had both Nicolas Cage and Nicole Kidman in it that I had yet to see, well, I just had to watch it.
The basic premise of this movie is pretty basic. Nic and Nicole are married with some very subtle issues underlying the marriage, and their rebellious teenage daughter totally calls them on it, and all is going quite bland in their lives till some robbers break into the house and demand their money. To be honest I was expecting a lot from this movie; spectacular over acting, cringe-worthy dialogue and cheesy action. I didn’t get any of that. What I got instead was a copy and past script that kept going around in circles chasing it’s own repetitive tail. Nic Cage played this yuppie with no real personality outside of “We have money. Oh, no we don’t. Actually we do! I lied lol,”. He was so bland that I almost forgot I was watching Nic Cage.
Nicole Kidman was, sigh, beautiful as usual. Immaculate in her all her ginger glory.
Even while in distress she manages steal my heart. Whilst Nic Cage looked greasier and older than ever.
One of the most striking examples of “sit-com couple” syndrome, in which the wife is way hotter than her supposed husband. To be honest when it was implied that Nicole Kidman slept with Cam Gigabyte….Gigaget….Gigageba….The guy who played James in Twilight, I honestly couldn’t blame her. I felt no inclination to root for Nic Cage in this film because I just didn’t give a shit about him. Usually I’ll root for Nic because I want to see him triumph and live long enough to give a long drawn out, over-acted, speech. I honestly just wanted him to die in this and for the movie to centre around how bad-ass his wife and daughter are. Really though, Nicole and the KidCage daughter did more in this film than any of the male characters combined. Nic Cage just kept lying and trying to reason with the kidnappers and keep his cash, meanwhile putting his entire family through a painful ordeal only to end up burning down his house with the cash in the end anyway! Oh spoilers by the way.
I wish there was more to say about this movie but I can only rant about so much when it comes to a movie with so much yet so little going on. I personally think the movie would’ve been better if, gasp, Nic Cage wasn’t in it! Oh God, I feel dirty even typing that. It’s hard to believe that a movie like this could find a way for me to actually find Nic boring but this movie somehow did it. Over-all the movie wasn’t terrible, it was actually fairly decent, it just felt to me like they just threw Nic’s character into the mix at the last second.
Looking back I actually kind of enjoyed the movie outside of the misused Cage bits. Nicole was beautiful, KidCage daughter was badass, Cam Giga-whats-his-fuck was crazy and the actual unravelling of the plot was fun to watch even if it was a bit drawn out.
In the end I have to give this movie 3 out of a possible 5 Crazy Mama Kidmans
Join me again tomorrow for my Trans Tuesdays blogs. Stay Tobly awesome till then!