Hello everyone! Miss me? No?….oh well, that kind of hurts….
So, do you all remember me telling you of my super mega awesome job at my local comic store? Well if not let me repeat myself by saying that it is a wicked fucking job. Having said that though it is still a retail job and as I am sure many of you know, retail jobs suck big time especially if your store is located in a ghetto township mall. Almost every website out there has a stupid little list explaining the reasons as to why a retail job is frustrating but I really feel as though comic store retail jobs have a whole other set of problems we deal with. Here are just a few that I hold very close to my heart.
1. People who linger
(Oh did I forget to mention we’re breaking out the list format for this? Well we’re breaking out the list format so buckle down kiddies.)
I’m totally cool with people chilling with me for awhile to make my day go faster but some of the people that come into my store just don’t know when to leave. We’re a mom and pop kind of store so we only ever have one person working at a time which is fine for the average 4-6 hour shift, but when it’s the full day shifts from 9:30-6 and you just take your breaks whenever you find time these loitering people become a huge pain. I’ve had a few customers come in half an hour into my shift and stay till I finished, it got to the point where I actually left for a break and came back and they were waiting for me to get back from taking a piss…wait what…
Admittedly though I can tolerate that on the slow days because they’re not causing any harm outside of getting on my nerves. It’s when they hinder my god damn work that I start getting incredibly annoyed. When I have ten people shopping around the store and your ass is standing in front of the counter and preventing people from purchasing their items, then you start to venture over to my bad side. I shouldn’t have to ask you to shift over so that some poor Sheldon looking mother fucker can buy his comics. This isn’t your home, it’s a business and, although I do enjoy talking to you about the difference between the new Star Trek movies and the original series, I have a job to do and you need to let me do that.
These guys don’t bother me half as much as
2. Unattended children
Our store is located around a health food store, an electronics store and a cell phone Kiosk so any adult that goes to any of those three places just decides to drop poor Timmy off at my store and let them roam free. Once again, not a big deal if our store was actually equip to handle an ADHD 5 year old. Here’s a hint: we’re totally not equip to handle an ADHD 5 year old.
Parents, if you have shopping to do in a mall as shifty as the one I work in don’t trust the future provider of your adult diapers to some strange employee of an indeterminable gender. I am not a babysitter and i have not been trained in first aid if your kid runs head first into the many pointy edged counters and racks that display our comics. That’s another thing, outside of our kids section, the majority of our comics store has comics with content meant for an older audience. So if you child pics one up and sees Batwoman beating the bloody snot out of some criminal don’t you dare try to blame me if they try that on their little brother. If you can’t handle one child then maybe you shouldn’t have one, or maybe just hire a babysitter you cheap shit. Swear to god, next time a child is left with me I’m going to give them a whole tray of the powder candy we have in stock and send them back to their parents in the fits of a sugar coma.
3) Do you take passport photos?
In order to fully understand why this particular brand of human pisses me off to no end you have to really grasp how incredibly obvious it is that we are, indeed, a comic book store.
This is the very, very comic booky outside of our store. There is no denying what we sell and you can see the whole store as soon as you walk in. So then tell me why people will take one look at the store, walk in, then ask “Do you take passport photos here?”, “Do you repair cellphones?”, “Can I refill my ink cartridges here?”. Take a God damn look around you, do you see anywhere for me to take a picture of you? Any cellphones hanging around? Or maybe anything to indicate that we are not a comic store? Seriously, don’t ask dumb fucking questions especially when you interrupt me in the middle of helping an actual customer.
If the person is genuinely confused and nice enough to apologise for taking up my time then I am totally cool with them, mistakes happen. It’s when you come up to my counter and address me like I’m some peasant beneath your feet then give me a look like it’s my fault you walked into the wrong store. I am a very nice and courteous person to my customers, but when you’re a douche to me I don’t stand for that shit. Use your eyes, look at the merchandise on the walls and if you want I will gladly give you directions to the mall directory. Just don’t ask dumb questions because you’re too lazy to think for yourself and use your brain to figure out what we sell on your own.
I realise that by reading this I might come off like the comic guy for the Simpsons but I can assure you that I am actually a very nice guy to my customers and it does take a lot to really tick me off. The only time I have ever gotten short with a customers was when a guy was being rude to a female subscriber of ours, even then I dealt with it rather calmly and the dude apologised and left. I also must assume I am a pleasant person seeing as I do have quite a few regulars who come into the store to talk to me, even made some great friends that way (Hi Matt! You crazy beast you).
It’s just that certain people really get to you every now and then just like any other job and it leads you to write a self-righteous rant list on your blog to make yourself feel better and somewhat entitled to the anger and frustration you feel.
All in all though working at a comic store is pretty sweet, the people in general are really cool and I love being able to say that I work in one of the friendliest stores in my area.
Pictured above, my store on free comic day. I actually got this image from Spent Pencils, an art group I’m a part of with Alvaro Cruz( Chileanstorm on most social networking sites). Oh hey! That’s me in the lower right corner! What a crazy happenstance that I totally didn’t plan on purpose in any way at all.
That’s all for today folks, I’ll see you all Monday for the last Nicolas Cage movie review. Till then everyone, stay Tobly awesome.