Toby gets deep and inspirational

Personal Posts

Life is made up of perfect moments. Anyone that says otherwise hasn’t taken the time to slow down and appreciate them. I say this because I’ve been guilty of doing that and I want to put a stop to it.

I want to do that by telling everyone about my own perfect moment, the moment when I realized that despite all the shit I was going through; Everything was going to be fucking awesome.

It was after my bro Alvaro won tickets to Riot Fest here in Toronto, a huge weekend long music festival with rock and alternative music. The entire time was amazing but there was one memory that was ingrained in the back of my mind and it will forever keep coming up.

It was just as the sun was starting to set  and Alvaro and I were running to catch Death Cab for Cuties performance, they were the one band we both really wanted to catch live that day. As we hurried over one of the muddy grass hills we could hear the beginning of “I will posses your heart” echoing over a near deathly quiet audience.

Pot smoke rose up above the heads of the crowd till it become the only thing I could smell. It only latest a few seconds but it was long enough that I couldn’t help but think “this is like a moment from one of those shitty indie films”. And it was, and it was still perfect despite that. Standing at the top of a hill, surrounded by pot smoking hipsters and standing by one of the most important people in the world to me. It was awesome. It’s something I find myself going back to whenever I hear that song. I think we all need a memory like that. Even a few memories. Because even though I believe that life is made of perfect moment, we can only really remember a few of them in such detail.

Life has been really hectic and messy since I came out of the closet and Alvaro has never left my side nor has he waned in his support for me. So, I think, in the end. Maybe this post is more for him. More of a reminder of that awesome moment, and I hope that whenever he needs a refresher he’ll come here and read over this and remember that day.

I never had a big brother growing up, but I had always wanted one. Now I think I found that, and I am very grateful for everything he has done to make my transition and my coming out process as painless as it has been.

So thanks for that man. Thanks for the support and the unconditional friendship, this is the only sort of heart felt emotion you’ll ever get out of me and don’t expect me to ever say this out-loud….ya know….because then people might think we’re…gay.

I don’t know why they would think that though….

Till next time everyone, make some memories with the people you care for and stay Tobly spectacular.

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