National Coming out day

Personal Posts

So today is National Coming out day, I find it rather funny that it falls on the same weekend as Canadian Thanksgiving….coincidence?
I want to make this post, not dedicated to those who have decided to come out, but for the people who just aren’t ready to come out yet. I just wanted to let you all know that regardless of your out status you are still a member of the LGBTQA+ community and you are still valid.
I feel as though we forget that there are those of us who are too scared/not ready/still confused. I don’t think these individuals should ever feel as though they have to come out just to be valid. They shouldn’t feel as though they are trapped in some “no man’s land” of Sexuality until the day they come out. You don’t have to make some big announcement to earn some sort of “queer” card, you just are.
Having said all that though I do understand why they would feel that way. With all the posts on my facebook preaching “love and respect to all my LGBT brothers and sisters!” and yet the LGBT community has some serious issues with acceptance and labelling. You have to fit into one of a few small categories or it can feels as though the whole community is passing you by. Biphobia, Transphobia, Sexism, and Racism are all alive and well among “our people” and it still feels like we are just ignoring it and waving huge rainbow flags to cover up the negativity rather than addressing it. When it comes to those who are closeted I have heard a few queer men saying some negative things about these people. We all have a coming out process and it’s not right for us to judge someone else for something we had to go through ourselves.
If we want to keep this whole “Happy gay family” perception going then we need to include EVERYONE regardless of what they are going through.
“Closeted boys are just confused,”
“You’re just scared,”
“You have to come out for your own sake,”
No one is confused, it’s okay if you’re scared, and no one “has” to come out before they are ready.
For all those in the closet, take your time. Do it when you’re ready and don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t feel is right for you at the moment. No one can tell you how to be yourself, even fellow Queer individuals.
I know that what I have said up till now hasn’t been too inspiring but, just like any other large group of people, LGBT’s have our good folks and our bad. I came out two years ago (Soon to be three) and I have been blessed with the best people in the community. These people have been warm and wonderful and I could have never asked for better humans to have around me during my transition. People like this are all over, finding them isn’t hard. Whenever you do choose to come out, I am sure you will also find your own pocket of great people that you can share your journey with.
One last piece of advice…When you do come out, do it for you. Don’t stay in the closet for others and don’t come out for anyone but yourself. Life is just too damn short to live completely for other people. It’s over used and cliche but you’re worth so much more than that. Good luck in everything you do random person on the internet! Be spectacular!
And always be Tobly awesome
I know I will

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