I’m very forward with folks these days and I expect the same courtesy in return. If someone has a problem with me I want to know, I can’t solve something I don’t know about. The whole idea of avoiding confrontation and just letting things build up absolutely baffles me. I can’t help but feel that some of the people who do this are gluttons for drama and, deep down, don’t want to find a solution so easily. But that’s just me.
I remember back in high school dealing with these sorts of situations;
“So, I was talking to Jake and he keeps telling me about how you’ve being *insert problem here*. I keep telling him to talk to you but he won’t,”
High School. I remember this from High school. You know what that means? It means that I consider this to be a high school thing. I’ve out grown this stupid method of handling drama and I won’t stand for it. Not only do I consider this really immature but I also feel like its unfair to whoever has to put up with being the middle man. Whatever sort of “beef” this person has with me is between us and involving others just because they’re afraid of confronting me is just inconsiderate.
If the problem isn’t important enough to warrant a conversation with me then it isn’t important enough to be polluting the social lives of the people surrounding me. It’s always been really weird for me because, 9 times out of 10, the drama makes it back to me anyway. The middle man almost always tells me whats up and now I am stuck in a situation where I know but I don’t/shouldn’t. This is the part that often kills me the most. It’s not that I am pugnacious, I’m just assertive. I know someone has a problem with me, I have the solution, but now I have to play the waiting game because the ball isn’t only in their court but they also have no idea I’m in the game. It’s like placing a milk bone on your dog’s nose and then ordering them to pretend it’s not there.
This whole ordeal could all be avoided if everyone just learned that confrontation isn’t always a bad thing. The key is to be concise and honest but not mean or hurtful when dealing with a problem. No need to pull out “yo mama” jokes or poke at each others insecurities, we are all adults here and we don’t need school yard tactics. This isn’t a battle, it’s the signing of a treaty before blood is shed. Battles happen when you keep things pent-up and let them escalate. I know I can sometimes be a pushy guy, and I’m not always the most tender and caring soul when it comes to understanding but I will always try my best to see both sides of things without letting BS over ride the situation.
Confrontation is something that makes a lot of people anxious and I understand the urge to avoid it, but sometimes avoiding it can make matters worse. I personally don’t enjoy confrontation but I understand the occasional need for it. Confrontation helps us pinpoint faults in our relationships with others and gives us the opportunity to fix those problems and grow from them.
Don’t get angry folks, just be forward. The moment we learn the difference between the two we can all stop fearing a little “discussions” between friends.
Till next time, treat each other with respect and make sure to stay tobly awesome
I know I will.