Go ahead, feel offended.

Personal Posts

How often do you hear “sensitive” being used as an insult in today’s world. People being called “too sensitive” over the smallest things like it’s the modern equivalent of being called a “pussy”. Why? I understand that some people can be too sensitive but folks today throw it around every chance they get to belittle someones feelings. If you feel hurt by someones racist joke you’re not being sensitive, you’re human and you’re entitled to feel things without being accused of possessing an apparently negative trait.


I will be the first person to say that I am usually not the most sensitive guy in the room at any given time. Even if others do consider me sensitive, well that’s their prerogative. I know what offends me, honestly not much, and I am allowed to feel offended by those things if you cross the line with me. This notion of “If you don’t like what I have to say then don’t listen” is conceded and misplaced especially when the people saying it are usually the ones who don’t want to hear what you have to say. They want the right to offend you but they don’t want you to have the right to express your offense. This system goes both ways, if I have to sit and listen to your dumb opinion about “trannies” then you have to sit and listen to why I think you suck.

Let’s face it, the concept of actually having a choice to listen is imaginary. These sorts of people need you to listen to them, if not then they wouldn’t seek you out. If someone hates gay people why would they go to an Adam Lambert music video and comment about how much they hate him for being gay and then tell people not to listen if they don’t like it. This act is the equivalent to someone standing in the middle of a Blue Jays game in Toronto and declaring their love for the Yankees. They need you to pay attention to them, they need that “sensitive” reaction from you. You’re not being unreasonable, go ahead and feel offended but always keep in mind you’re better than them. You don’t need to insult others, you don’t need to sink that low.

I’m not saying the world doesn’t have a growing censorship problem though, this issue grows on both sides of the field. I’ve met people who want their trigger words respected but refuse to censor themselves for the sake of others in return. Let’s say you don’t want someone saying the word “cunt” because it offends you then you need to respect words that offends others. Having a trigger word doesn’t make someone the most delicate flower in the room that must be protected at all cost. We are all human and the comfort of one person should not be placed in competition with the comfort of another. You want respect? Give it in return.

I’m a queer transmale, this doesn’t make my feelings more important than Becky’s, the straight cis-gendered girl. Becky is valid, I am valid. Just because I am Transgender doesn’t mean I am incapable of offending her. If I do offend her then she has every right to call me out on it! We are both human and we both have feelings that could be hurt.

I feel as though now is a really good time to drop this little tidbit of Toby opinion here: I respect your right to express your opinion as long as it does not affect the basic human rights of others. I expect the same in return. Boom. Crazy. Borderline controversial.

I don’t want this to read as some sort of call to arms against society. That’s not what this is so please don’t grab a baseball bat and start beating whoever mutters something mildly offensive. I want this to be more about people and the squishy feelings they are allowed to have.  I also want to remind people that anyone can be offensive and self-centred because, shocker, it’s not just straight white cis-men that are capable of being jerks. We all have that ability and we all need to be aware of it. So, you know, don’t be a tool and respect people.


Just remember that you’re feelings are important and no amount of someone telling you to “stop being so sensitive” should ever stop you from feeling something.

Till next time folks, keep your head high, think happy thoughts or whatever and most importantly stay Tobly awesome.

I know I will.

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