Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes!

Studio Blogs

Y’all knew it would happen and here it is!

This is the post where I blab about the changes I have personally experienced on HRT in these first 6-7 months. Things are going to get a bit personal and there may be details the average reader doesn’t need to know, I am purely posting this for informational purposes. Keep in mind while reading this that this is my own personal account of how HRT has reacted with me. It differs depending on the person and the method/dosage.

I want to start with physical changes. These are more numerous but a lot more straight forward so I want to get these up and out of the way in more of a list form. My changes thus far are as follows;

  • More body hair overall. Much like the old sex ed pamphlets use to say “You’ll be finding hair in whole new places”.
  • Acne. Mostly on the right side of my face.
  • My clitoris has grown. I can actually feel it getting hard when aroused which is a whole new ball game!
  • My voice has deepened noticeably.
  • My torso has lost some curves and I’ve taken on a more boyish figure.
  • I also think my chest has flattened out some more, it may just be from years of binding. Either way, I’ll take it!

I haven’t noticed any crazy facial changes yet beyond some facial hair above my lip and along my chin. Not yet anyway, I’m mostly patient though.

My emotional/psychological etc. changes have been a bit different and interesting to say the very least. There are only a few of those but I definitely feel as though they are stronger.

  • Increased Appetite. Hot damn! The hunger.
  • Increased sex drive. I always thought guys were exaggerating about being ready to go to pound town all the time as a teenager, now I know they weren’t.
  • Shift in sexuality. Its an incredibly rare side effect but HRT has been known to cause shifts in sexual preferences. I now find myself preferring men over women as sexual partners in the past few months. I’ve gone from identifying as pansexual to just simplifying it all and just saying “gay”.

It’s weird hearing your own voice forming and your body shifting. It’s the best feeling in the world but it’s also really unique and incomparable. I’m currently taking my HRT through intramuscular injections every other week, which has been working great for me but I know needles aren’t for everyone.

I guess looking at a picture I took before HRT and a picture I took only a month ago I can see the changes in my face. I am curious and excited to see how further treatments are going to change me and my body.

I’ll keep updating this blog with my progress as the changes continue!
Thanks for reading folks and remember to stay Tobly awesome.
I know I will.

Combination post! Tuesday and Wednesday special

Studio Blogs

So sorry for a lack of post yesterday, I ended up going to see How to Train Your Dragon 2 and forgot to write it due to my immense love of toothless pouring out of my ears. I have so much to tell you guys and with such a small space to do it so I’m just going to try and make it as streamline as I can.
Yesterday I was stuck working at the Comic shop, a friendly little place in Brampton, and the day was going pretty standard. I have to say that working as Stadium Comics has been one of the best part-time jobs I’ve ever had the pleasure of doing. I love comic books so working in a store and working in a place that specialises in that area has been dream.

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The view from my sales counter is the best and you all know you’re jealous.
I’m telling you all this for a reason, sit down children for I have a story to tell you. So my work day was pretty standard for the majority of the day until a young girl and her mom and older brother walked into the store. I did my usual shtick of greating them and asking them if they needed help finding anything before returning to browsing Tumblr while they looked around. It was at this point the little girl, who was around eight years old, walked up to the shelves beside the counter and began to wig out over the sonic screwdrivers we had up for sale. The two of us began to talk, she quizzed me about Doctor Who to make sure I was a true fan and after I had proved myself she immediately warmed up to me. As her mother and brother chilled I showed her a few convention videos on youtube of a Dalek cosplay and we shared in our joint fear of the weeping angels. When it was finally time for her to go she asked if we could be best friends and if she could have my phone number, her mom had told me they were on vacation from America so she isn’t from the area. After her mom said it was okay I gave her my business card with my email and told her we could be pen pals. She excitedly gave me a hug, took a picture with me and then told me I smelled nice. I also told her about my upcoming graphic novel and she seemed excited that I drew.
Now I’ve said this once and I’ll say it again, I don’t like children because I have too much in common with them. This little girl though. I’ve never met a kid that I took to so quickly, she was amazing. My day had been boring and average till this little ray of sunshine came in and begged me to be her new best friend. How could I say no. She was this excitable, doctor who fan girl in the making and I am so lucky to have made such sweet new friend. Her mom was very sweet so I am assuming she got her personality from there.
I could honestly go on and on about how this child warmed by cold heart but I have so much more to talk about so I’m going to power on! However I would totally adopt a kid like that.
After work I ended up going to HTTYD2 and hot damn was it awesome! I have an immense love for animated films and it’s very hard for me to find one that I absolutely hate. I realise that they are made for kids and so I end up enjoying with that in mind. I couldn’t help but freak out over the amount of detailing that went into the characters animation. I could see the god damn hairs on Hiccups chin! Do you all understand how crazy that is? I loved it.
The evolution the characters have had since the first film was wonderful and the relationship between Hiccup and Astrid has really blossomed. Don’t even get me started on how much I want a million of these derpy ass baby Scuttleclaws.

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They are so stupid, I want them all. Especially the screaming blue one.
Nows a good time to expose you all to my out of control slight obsession with dragons. I’ve spent god knows how many days of my life reading and learning about dragons. I use to love Dinosaurs as a kid because I thought they were the closest thing to real dragons, this eventually grew to an actual interest in Dino’s as an entity not connected to dragons.
Dragons are just the best.
Okay, one last little tiny thing before I go. Seeing as yesterday was Trans Tuesday I should mention something Trans related, so I am going to continue my talk about binding with a little side note about why the summer sucks donkey dick. I am sure every single FTM knows why I hate summer so god damn much. The heat combined with the extra layer of binding we have to wear equals the nastiest experience for sweat. You basically have to wear another layer of clothing in weather where you don’t want to wear clothes to begin with. I just want to be like other men and walk around with no shirt on, seriously, once I get my top surgery I am going to avoid shirts like the mother fucking plague. Boxers, and only boxers, all the time.
If you all have any opinions about my post feel free to comment. I really enjoy reading the comments that I’ve received so far and I always take what you guys say into consideration.
Once again sorry for the late update bullshit, till tomorrow stay Tobly awesome.

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Selfie featuring my bro Alvaro and his epic Chile shirt.

Studio blog 3: Anatomy rant

Creative advice, Personal Posts, Studio Blogs

New Studio blog you guys!!! This one is super special seeing as I’m at home…so it’s going to be more of an at home lazy art blog today. Seeing as I am hard at work on my new story I’m going to be a hack and repost an old tumblr rant up here. It is art oriented so I figured this would be a good place to share it.
Warning: Very long and very NSFW.
Here it is, originally posted on my Tumblr way back in January of this year.

So I’m a HUGE Tiger and Bunny fan and tonight I found myself floating around the Tiger and Bunny tag. Now seeing as Tiger and Bunny has a character line up made up of almost entirely attractive male characters there is bound to be some hot gay dickins all up on that tag.
Now to clarify, I am not homophobic(all my followers/friends know this already). In fact I’m pansexual so if anything I am very down with some guy on guy. However! When I see a guy on guy fanart that completely laughs in the face of male anatomy I get a bit twitchy.

Now I have censored the following images out of respect for my straight male friends, they put up with my gay shit all the god damn time so the least I can do is censor it for their dash.
I will be censoring this following critique with my new friend “naughty no-no Pee wee Herman”

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I am by no means artist of the year but I do have a fairly structured understanding on anatomy. So away we go!
It all started with this image.

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Good job Peewee! You’re already doing a marvelous job.
What the fuck Kotetsu’s boob?!
Now I know what you’re thinking “But Toby, a pec is just a male boob,”….no….no it isn’t.
A pec, is a pectoral MUSCLE! A boob is a Mammory glad…made of fat. FAT NOT FUCKIN MUSCLE! Fat and muscle do not react to surfaces the same way. You can’t treat a mans pecs in the same way you treat a womans breasts. Just no.
All things considered though this one wasn’t too bad. BUT, it was too late, my curiosity was peaked. So I headed on over to everyone’s favourite yaoi site Yaoi Haven and stalked through JUST the Tiger and Bunny section and it was a fucking treasure trove of examples for me to use.

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Now I’m pretty sure if I didn’t point it out you can all see the issue here.
What is up with our tigers spine? No human (other then a trained contortionist maybe) can bend that way. Before drawing something the best advice I can give here is to always see if you can do the position you want to draw before drawing it. If you can’t imitate the pose then your subject probably can’t do it either. Reference images are also useful as fuck.
RIP Kotetsu’s back
Moving on

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This example is probably my biggest beef. Hips…. Men and women have different hips. Men are not just women with penis’, they’re very different anatomy wise and just putting a penis and some facial hair on them is just not going to cut it.
Seriously what the fuck, Barnaby looks like J.Lo(are we calling her that still? Or am I revealing too much about my age now). Let’s examine this closer.
The artist has drawn Barnaby probably using a female reference. How do I know? Let’s take a look see, ya?

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Everyone meet Angel Annie! She was the best example I could find of common anatomy used in art (not average female, let’s face it artists like to exaggerate a fuck ton). Observe how her body curves above the hip, look at Barnaby….now back at her…see it now? No? Well let’s look at a boy with some hips for comparison

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Now this fellah….hot damn….oh sorry…this fellah here does have a curve above his hips but notice that it isn’t anywhere near as dramatic as Barnaby or Angel Annies. It’s subtle, but still there. THAT is how a man’s body COMMONLY curves.
Using the excuse that some men are just bit larger in the hips is just lazy especially when you’re drawing a character with this anatomy.

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….but fuck where are these curves of which you speak?
Okay one last little thing.

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If I didn’t know better I would’ve thought that this picture of Sky High(If I recall his name right) was a chick…then I saw the penis and felt lied to.
MENS PECS ARE NOT BOOBS!!! Also Men do not have jiggly bouncy Iggy Azalea booties

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When you’re drawing looks more like Iggy Azalea then the character you’re actually trying to draw, and that character is male, then you know you have some anatomy issues.
My point to this being, if you’re going to draw Yaoi, draw Yaoi. Not Chicks with dicks. Because half the time that’s what it ends up looking like.
None of this “but Toby it’s the anime style!” “Toby Yaoi is meant to look girly”
Sorry but I can’t hear you

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Over the MOTHERFUCKIN SOUND

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OF BUTT FUCKIN’ ANATOMY YOU SMARMY LITTLE FUCKERS
“Style” is never an excuse to cop out on anatomy. Style should be used in Tandem with fucking anatomy.
These two examples are good examples of anatomy working WITH style.
FUCK! Why is that so hard for people?
Am I being a little bitch? Oh hell the fuck yes. Do I think people use excuses to avoid anatomy (such as “it’s just gay porn” and “it’s animu”)? OH MEGAMANHELLA FUCK YES!
Okay I’m fuckin’ done. Toby out bitches.
Don’t forget to thank special guest Naughty No-no Peewee on your way out the door.
…….

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BAM!
Sorry found him on my travels and my hand slipped. He is perfect reference BTW for an RL Barnaby in my opinion.

And there it is! My rant about yaoi art. Keep in mind I am a sassy, silly writer so you should probably take my cursing with a grain of salt….but not my message. Study anatomy you guys!
Welp tomorrow is creative writing Thursday, stay Tobly awesome you guys!

Studio Blog Take 2

Studio Blogs

I think that late blog entries are just a thing with me. Spent all day at the studio today doing motion capture clean up with Maddsketch whilst Alvaro Cruz drew. It was a pretty sweet day all in all and I am really starting to get a hang of how the Vicon Blade works and how to clean up the markers and such. That’s not all that interesting for you guys though, just a bunch of technical stuff that even I’m still trying to understand.
The coolest thing about today is right now, this very moment. I watch a lot of movies and I’ve heard one say something about life being made up of a series of perfect moments.  I really believe that to be true, it’s just I’ve thrown in my own little bit about those moments being held together by a glue made of bullshit. I’m just a cynic though and I have a skewed view of the world  so  maybe I’m being a douche bag about that last bit. Back to why today is awesome though.

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I’m sitting here at Frans with two of my favourite people and drinking a classy fucking smoothie. This is a perfect moment you guys. I’m an admitted workaholic so being able to get work done, eat awesome food and chill with awesome people just makes for the perfect night for me. If by chance any of you guys live in Toronto and haven’t been to a Frans then I am very disappointed. Best. Diner. Ever!
Also Lego House by the silver tongued he-siren Ed Sheeran is on so that pretty much makes my brain do happy back flips. Things just keep coming up Milhouse tonight.
I’m behind on my daily doodles over on my tumblr, shameless plug, toblyawesome.tumblr.com so I need to go beast mode tonight and draw a bunch of sketches to clean up later.  I’ve been working at the studio everyday this week so I haven’t had much of an opportunity to get some colouring stuff done, that’s what tonights for though I guess. I like this whole 9-5 thing I have going at the moment but it has been cutting into my drawing time, I have to start making up for that at night now.
Speaking of drawing though I should get back to it. I have a schedule of posting both original work and fan art on alternating days of the week and at the moment the amount of original work sketches out weighs the fan art sketches so I need to fix that. Maybe I’ll draw some Tiger and Bunny, one day I’ll blab to you guys about how much I love that anime but alas today shall not be that day.
I’m off to do something productive, till tomorrow you guys stay Toblyawesome.
I’ll be wrapping up The Horse Farm with this next post so be ready for a whole new short story next week!
Weekly selfie

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Featuring Frans!
Edit: Totally thought this uploaded last night but the internet at Frans laughed at me and said no…..

Studio Blog Take Two!

Studio Blogs

And…Action!
Here we are again, Wednesday, Studio day. The day of the studio. Also just decided with my bro Alvaro that farts will now be referred to as “Butt Burps”…Sorry you guys didn’t need to know that.
Let me start by saying that I am the luckiest guy in the world because I literally have the best job ever. I spent all day today manning the MoCap station for today’s motion capture shoot for an upcoming MMORPG. I can’t tell you guys anymore due to leaks and such. I feel god damn official! Now although I can’t tell you all what game I’m working on I can show you pics of the shoot and such as long as they give nothing away plus I can tell you a bit more about my day. Grab a tea you guys cause this might be a long entry.
My day started early in the morning and we set up with our amazing Stunt man Justin, who is massive by the way! He was such a damn trooped and put so much effort and crazy work forward and it was absolutely amazing working with him. I’m done complementing him though, promise. The clients came in an hour later and we hit the ground running! Fighting stunts, rigging stunts, running, special attacks, and character idles. It was amazing to watch the actor and director work together to create this imaginary character.

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I couldn’t really take a picture of our boy in motion but here is a shot of our studio space that we use for filming. The little lights that you see below the balcony are the MoCap cameras and to be honest they look like tiny ghetto Glados’ from Portal. My Friend and Mentor MaddSketch and I want to to a stupid short film involving them. Not sure if we will have time to though!

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I feel like a little boy doing show and tell here. This picture here is my screen setup for the Motion Capture. I know I already said this but I am so lucky to have this job cause it is brilliant being able to work doing something you’re passionate about. I’m going to take this opportunity to give you all a bit of advice. I may be young but I think I have some pretty good ideas regarding leading a happy life. My number one piece of advice is to do what makes you happy. I know it’s been said a million times before but just hear me out.
You only have one life to live and I don’t think a lot of people really let that sink in to it’s full extent. You have people who work every waking moment of their day making money to have all the things they’ve been told that they want from life and ending up miserable. Whats the point in that? Why even bother? In my eyes that’s a huge waste of your life. Art may not always pay well but I love every second that I spend working and now I’ve found another field that I enjoy equally as much. I look forward to coming into work every morning and I don’t go home feeling drained or stressed at the end of the day. I can only hope that this job lasts and becomes permanent for a while. I think that’s worth never being able to buy a house with two and a half bathrooms. Will Smith had it right you guys, what do you do with half a bathroom anyway?
Now if you all don’t mind I’m going to transition awkwardly  back into talking about my day.
After filming for the day MaddSketch invited us to go to his brothers place for dinner, which was amazing after a long day at the studio. That’s not why I’m bringing this up though.

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This little guy in Madds arms! His name is Jason and he is the most amazing kid I have ever met. He’s smart, funny, and he’s already all up on the ladies when he goes to that park. This boy has his priorities straight people. Take notes.
I have so much more I really do want to talk about but I have a bunch of drawings that are staring at me begging to be taken care of so I should probably get some drawing done.

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Weekly Selfie! This week featuring tasty, tasty green tea courtesy of my bro!
Till next time guys, stay Tobly awesome.

Studio Blog take one

Studio Blogs

I’m sitting here with my two grown ass male friends singing Taylor Swift, eating various unhealthy foods and guzzling energy drinks. This is the studio.
Okay, so maybe I should actually tell you what I do at the studio and what the studio actually is. Very quickly, the studio is just a place where my friends and i go to draw things that are artwork. Technically it’s a movie studio we all work for every now and then but we also use it to hang out and work every Wednesday. Moving on to the actual studio blog itself!

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The day started with a small anatomy tutorial from our friend and teacher Maddsketch. He taught us how arm things move and stuff. I’m going to use this opportunity to plug his artwork

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He has this awesome semi-cartoon style he uses for his comedic work and I love it very very much. You can kind of see the beginnings of a man’s sexy man chest there on the side. I’ll also mention that you guys should totally check out our official studio “Studio DYV”.
Okay plugging done! Back to our regularly scheduled programme.
After the short lesson we just kind of drew and ranted about how the young people of our generation are given a bad wrap and often labeled as lazy when really we’re just living off the scraps of the previous generation. Maybe I’ll make that my Friday rant for you guys. Either way we had a jolly good time bitching and fueling each others rage. Further fueling our rage? Mcdonalds! Our signature studio food. You all will learn about our love but mostly hate relationship with the crack-like fast food chain we all know and….well I don’t know anyone who actually “loves” Mcdonalds.
I’ve been really ill for the past few days so my huge meal of disgustingly greasy big macs was the first thing I’ve eaten in two days and it was a terrigreat idea.
Through the fast food coma and the buzz of the energy drinks I did manage to sketch out one complete idea

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Thinking of fixing this one up and making a mini print out of it. I’ve always enjoyed Princess Peach as a character, there is just something about her girly nature that I find so endearing. Then again…I really like girls who are super girly so I guess that does make a hell of a lot of sense after all.
Since then I’ve been working on a young avengers sketch seeing as I really don’t draw my favourite Marvel team enough. I won’t bore you guys with more details then that at this moment in time though.
Hokay! I’m going to get my ass back to work and finish up these drawings here.
Stay Tobly awesome you guys!!
AH MY FACE

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